Drum roll please.
Shawn(or is it Marlon? Keenan? Damon? Charles? David?)as Chris Rock... that's a pretty damn good impression.
"She did it again, y'all! What the fuck did you do the first time?!" Did you see the look on Britney's face?!! Go Marlon!! Go Marlon!! Put your feet up!! Shake your bootie!!!
Hey, wait a tick... they're showing old audience clips from last year. As though we wouldn't notice! Who are they trying to fool?!!
Renne Zellwegger always looks drunk.
JANET JACKSON
Janet, "unparalled musician and singer", borrowed her outfit, hairstyle, dance moves, and voice from brother Michael... Didn't this song come out in 1994?
Is that BSB dancing backup?...Oh, those are girls.
BLINK 182
Tom looks like a guy I went out with... or liked... or knew... or saw on TV...or ran over with my car...I forget. Nevermind.
*MTV commercials suck*
What does The Rock have to do with MTV? Original Freak master, Kid Rock has just hit a sore spot with me. He thinks N Sync's Mcdonald's commercial was better than BSB's Burger King commercial. Sha right! As if!! Well, I think my dog's butt is better than your face.
*Pepsi always has famous spokespeople. As though people wouldn't drink it if it wasn't endorsed by Faith Hill or the girl from Pauly.*
BEST DANCE VIDEO - You Drive Me Crazy, Waiting For Tonight, Bye Bye Bye, Shake Your Bon Bon, The Thong Song.
Now this category is more complicated than it would appear to the naked eye. This would depend on what sort of dancing they be talking about. Choreographed dancing would be best with N Sync and Britney. But if they mean just getting your groove on/shaking your thang dancing, then the best would be the rest. Those are two seperate worlds. Someone should fix that. I refuse to vote.
JENNIFER LOPEZ
Jennifer just dropped in from her Powerhouse gym workout to accept this award. She stopped by Axel Rose's house on the way over and borrowed one of his old headbands.
RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE
Oh great. Bathroom break. Rage against the toilet.
JIMMY FALLON
HAHA!! Priceless!!! HAHA!!.....This is a tough crowd this year. Those puppets are better dancers than N Sync.
Note: Thank god Freddie Munz isn't here.
Christina Aquilera? New artist? New artist my ass!! She's like Kevin to the rest of these guys.
RICKY MARTIN
Ricky got his hairstyle from the "Goo Goo Dolls book of hair."
DESTINY'S CHILD
If only Destiny could see her child now... she needs to put some clothes on them.
BRITNEY SPEARS
She's singing!! Live!!! Did hell freeze over?... oh, she's not anymore. Nevermind. I heard myself utter the phrase "Britney's cool" and knew the fever must have set back in.
*Oh great, MTV has a new show. "Divert Effects". Just another useless half hour I won't be watching. I have better things to do. I think my toenails need clipping.*
N SYNC
Mr. Bass's suit is giving away his real sexuality... although he'll deny it. "I'm from Mississippi". Aren't we all, Lance, aren't we all.
JC borrowed AJ's jacket, Justin borrowed JC's turtleneck, Joey stole that Kiss shirt from my closet, and Chris interrupted Lance. And that's all I have to say about that.
EMINEM
He scares me and Jim Carrey. He makes so much money, you'd think he could afford better clothes.(quote courtesy of my brother)
*People get killed because they're gay. It makes me ashamed to be human.*
Steven Baldwin formed a band?! Oh wait, that's Red Hot Chilli Peppers. That guitar is huge!!! I don't ever wanna feel like I do right now. *falls alseep*
N SYNC PART 2 - THE PERFORMANCE
Masculine men all dressed in sequin white Mississippi shirts. Who dressed them? I think I saw Howie in the same suit Lance is wearing. Didn't BSB do the same ripping off of the clothes thing last year? Only it was with trench coats... those TV's... the music... this is the coolest thing. I bet they stole this idea from Howie's diary... Oh great, more hoochies... this is the coolest thing I've ever seen. Take that Grammy's!! But someone needs to fire their choreogropher.(quote courtesy of my brother)
*We have Skittles to thank for Say What Karoake.*
CHRISTINA AGUILERA
I see a little silhoutto of a genie in a bottle. (sings)American woman, get away from me.
We get it, you can sing. Shut up. Go record a new album or something. Her voice sounds deeper. That mixed with the Men Strike Back concert has got me wondering... Could start rumors.
She borrowed Britney's dancers and Disney concert dance moves. So original............... Oh great. She's rapping. Somebody shoot me.
BLINK 182
Midgets on trampolines!!!
VIEWER'S CHOICE
Wha?.....Wha?......Wha?....Who?.......N Sync? NOO!!! They say they owe everything to us fans, and I'm sorry, but I can't except the blame for those outfits.
I fast forwarded through the last part of the show because of my crippling fear of Mandy Moore.
I've come to the conlusion that the show lineup got the majority of it's wardrobe from Mr. Mclean's closet. Which we should get to see the inside of in October on MTV diary/cribs.
DMX didn't show up again. No surprise. Not that I care, I don't even know who he is. But I'm pretty sure I won't like him.
Hey?..................Where are the Backstreet Boys? I guess people got so used to them not showing up anymore, they didn't even bother to nominate them.