Maury- "Welcome to the show. Today's topic: "Help I'm Britney Spears and I Can't See My Feet!".When she came out with her first single everyone said she was doomed to be a one-hit wonder, 5 singles, 7 breast enlargement surguries, and 1 breast reduction later she decided to join us as a guest on our show. Please welcome Britney Spears
Britney walks on dressed in something she normally wears - Let's say a miniskirt, a tight shirt with no bra and hooker pumps--and she has blue eyeshadow upto her eyebrows, bright read lip stick and the left half of her makeup is peeling off*
Maury - Hi Britney...
Britney - Hi Maury. Please, call me chesty. All my "friends" call me Chesty.
Maury - Ok...Chesty. You're looking a little rough today.
Britney - *laughs closes her eyes and briefly sticks out her tongue* Well, Justin wouldn't let me sleep last night, so, naturally, I have to give in to my baby pimp.
Maury - umm....ok. So I heard you have a new job, you married Justin, and you have 15 children...
A group of grown up women stand up and scream "AAAAHHH!! JUSTIN!!"
Britney - That's right! I love my job, my husband, and my 15 children...even though 9 of them were unwanted.
Maury - So does this new career have anything to do with singing?
Britney - *laughs* oh..no. I'm a prostitute. Maybe you all remember me from the corner of 4th and lakeside?
She waves to the audience
The audience boos and one guy yells "BEST NIGHT OF MY LIFE!!"
Maury - How did it happen that you became a prostitute?
Britney - well, Maury, After my single with Aaron Carter: "Jiggle It" kind of bombed out, I decided it was time to move on and pick something else I liked to do. So the first thing that popped into my mind was giving head, it comes naturally to me. So one night I stood out on the corner and the rest is history.
Maury - Well, we talked earlier about Justin and we have him here today as a guest. So let's welcome Justin Timberlake
The previous group gets up and screams while the other people just stay silent. Justin comes out in board shorts, sandals and a camp tee shirt. He has hair down to his shoulder and a beard.
Maury - Hi, Justin.
Britney - Hi Justy!!!
Justin- Shut dat crack 'ho up. Shuddup crack 'ho.
Britney - Awww....I love you too.
The left side of her makeup peels off and she squints her eyes.
Maury - So...Britney, when did it occour to you that you couldn't see your feet?
Britney - Well, this one day I was trying to look at these cute shoes I have and I couldn't see them! I thought my legs had fell off!! But then I realised that *shrugs* it was just my boobs. They're real...I swear. Maury, you can feel them to prove that they're real. Just shove your hand right in there and feel around....
Maury - ...I'd...rather not.
Justin - Hey, I'll feel them.
Maury - Please save your weird sexual adventures for your home.
The group of girls scream again.
Justin stands up and points at them.
Justin - You guys wanna get a room?
Group of women - YES!!
Britney pouts as her chin makeup peels off.
Britney - Justy..I though it was my night.
Justin - Yeah, I'll see ya at home.
Britney - Goody!! So...Maury...I heard you were single.
Maury - ...That's about all the time we have for tonight. Watch for tomorrow's special at this time "Here We Go: The *N Sync story: A decend into booze, drugs, sex, and Britney Spears"
Britney winks at him and some eye makeup peels off.
Britney - I'm free tonight.